How to love an African woman in 12 simple steps

How to love an African woman in 12 simple steps

If you want to have peace in your life, and if you want to live a long life like Uncle Mugabe then you must know how to love an African woman. Shout out to Gucci Grace for all her effort. You're the real Mama G! 

Many think they know African women because theyhave watched Nollywood movies. Please respect yourself. Loving an African woman takes finesse and savior faire. The guide here is a cross-generational anthropological finding relayed to us from decades of research. This guide is for anyone who seeks to master loving an African woman. If you noh gree with this guide, an you business. Argue with your phone. The rest of you, you are welcome. It is well.

  1. Love her over every woman in your life before, now and in the future. Your mother is nice but it must be clear at all times that you love an African woman more than your mother. Whoever you love most is the one that you will let control you so she needs to know you love her above all else. She has to feel like she has the most power over you. That is when she feels most love.

  2. If you love an African woman surely you must know that your money is her money. When she says I need shoes, what she is saying is give me money for shoes. When she tells you she needs something the expectation is that because you love her you will provide it.

  3. Just because she will not leave you for cheating on her does not mean you can now be disrespecting her by liking your other girlfriend’s picture on Facebook. If you love her you publicly desist from all displays of action towards any and all females including dogs, cats, and cows. Because first, you go say you love the cow, then you will want to compliment the family that owns the cow, then the daughter in the family who surely you have been eyeing that is why you were complimenting the cow in first place. You think you are smart! African women have three eyes, the third is to see all you plans to enter other women.

  4. If you love her how you treat her in public is the most important way to show the love is real. Give her things her friends don't have. Give her things that will make her friends say wow ”dis guy e lek you oh”. The friends must be green with envy at all times. 

  5. When she is going out if you love her ask her many many questions. When you interrogate her she feels like you love her. Ever so often drive by where she is going, if she is out with friends go there unannounced and pay for their bill and leave. What?! The say she will sex you when she comes home. Wow! Wow! 

  6. Love is food and food is love. If you love her eat her food and tell her how sweet it is. Tell her even your mother can never prepare something like this. If you take her out to eat, the location does not matter just as long as it is a place that she can tell her friends about. The more exclusive the location the better.

  7. Love is compliments. Every time you see her, and I mean every time, you should complement some part of her. She is walking away from you say this: ”you shape fine o”. When you are in public pretend to speak in a low voice but enough for others to hear and say: ”I have such a good woman”. Make sure she can hear you because the way she will feel loved no be small thing. You publicly declaring how good of a woman she is to you is African woman Christmas.

  8. If she comes home complaining about how hard her job is and how much of a workload she has there is only one thing to do. Make a false threat but pretend like it's real. Tell her that your woman is not there to be working for someone. If they are not careful you will just stop her from working because it's not like you can't provide for your wife. 

  9. This one goes without saying but you like to play so let me be clear: her enemies are your enemies. That includes real and perceived enemies including those in your family. You support her even when she is the cause of friction in her friendships or relationships. All you have to say is ”na true”. When she tells you anything about her enemies you say ”na true”. That is what love does. 

  10. Sex is okay. If you love her, constantly beg her for sex. Do things for her for sex. Let her know that you know that her having sex with you is the greatest thing in your world. And when you are in bed, just do what you have to do and don't spoil her hair. She is not expecting to have an orgasm but if you love her don't spoil her hair. The sweetness of the sex is directly related to how much money or how many things you have given her recently. 

  11. If you meet one of the free-thinking, bookish ones, especially those with multiple degrees she will expect your love to manifest in equality. That means you love her as a full human being first, and not just as your woman. Her identity does not start and end with her relationship with you. You support and nurture her outspokenness and the fact that she can say what she wants, does what she wants and isn't afraid to go out and get it. You get an erection just thinking about how much of a boss she is. 

  12. If you love an African woman you must love her family. In fact, you are not just dating her, you are also caring for her family too. Buy gifts for her parents, gifts for her siblings, even gifts for the gateman. The best are the ones you give them without her knowing. They will call her later to sing your praises. She will be filled with pride for having such a good man. Also uou will need all of them to beg for you when one of your side chicks loses their damn mind. These are the people who will let your love know that you are a very good man who loves her die. Had you not loved her above all else why would you have been showering the whole family with gifts all this while.

Now that you have the how to love an African woman guide go forth and catch you an African woman. Their love us just sweetness. 

GoWoman Podcast: The uncomfortable truth of being an African woman

GoWoman Podcast: The uncomfortable truth of being an African woman

How to love an African man in 12 steps

How to love an African man in 12 steps