Young African Mom: "Will my body ever go back after pregnancy?"

If you're pregnant or a new mom and you're wondering if your body is ever going to be the same, then you're in luck. I've got good news.

Your body will never ever be the same after you have a baby. If you're feeling like that's a bad thing or want to mourn the loss of your pre baby self, don't.

Our bodies were not designed to go through life in a permanent state of sameness. By the time you get pregnant your body has already gone through a lifetime of changes and will continue to do so (shame they don't teach us and condition us for transitioning in school).

Before you hit puberty, your body was in a state of girlhood. Then you got your period entered “womanhood” and your body changed; with fuller hips and breasts and your voice changed too. Whether that transition was awkward or not it was a moment of physical transformation that none of us can ever reverse or escape.

Our bodies by biological design are meant to evolve. Pregnancy is not a deviation from this but a confirmation. Your body doesn't stop transforming after you have a child (insert Menopause) it continues to do so until death.

When I was pregnant I obsessed about the post baby snatch back. In the immediate post baby period I was took hundreds of photos of my belly and hips and worried about them returning to pre-birth form. I bought a waist trainer and I started working out just 4 months post-partum. I was focused on getting back to my pre-baby body.

With Olu at 7 months old on Mama Beach in Sierra Leone

Today 22 months post baby I can fit into all the clothes I did before I had my son but my body is not the same. It will never ever be and I'm okay with that. My belly is flat but not as it was. My boobs are not down to my knees despite that fact that my son is still breastfeeding, my hips are wider too.

Initially I sought out to return to pre motherhood me, instead I have arrived at self loving and accepting my mommy body.

I still exercise 4x a week but not with a goal in mind. I workout because it brings me joy and makes me feel like I'm investing in my future physical self. The goal is no longer to reverse the natural order of things but to live with and embrace them.

However you enter into pregnancy my wish for you is that you come out a woman clothed in self love and acceptance no matter how physically transformed your body is. The quicker you let go of the desire to return to what once was, the closer you get to loving what is.